I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
