weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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