Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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