no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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