is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
why is half of my head shaved?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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