Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
