Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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