girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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