He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
