Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
