He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
