That's intense
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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