tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
