a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
