My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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