Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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