I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I have fence marks all over my body
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
