Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
