I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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