Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
