All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
