i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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