I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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