I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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