I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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