Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
