didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
