I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
