3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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