Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
from now on my penis is your penis
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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