Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
