You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
