It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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