My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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