after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
