i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Drunk walkin through police station. America
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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