I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
