I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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