come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
