OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
nutella sex= disaster
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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