I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
