thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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