my sisters under your porch take her home
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
