So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
