when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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