yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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