let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
