So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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