Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
