very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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