Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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