i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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