I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
