Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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