Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
