ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just gargled with NyQuil
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
