Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
