you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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