ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize