oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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