I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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