Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
