My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
