i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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