At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
