Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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