ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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