You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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