____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
