just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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