You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
